What people, robots, and one ship's computer are saying about the Plain Words books they haven't read yet.
<p>Every word on this page is made up. Nobody quoted here has read the book, since it isn't out yet, and several of them are fictional, long dead, or a vacuum cleaner. The real reviews arrive with the real book.</p>
<h2>What They're Saying</h2>
<p><strong>"Pre-ordered. If it arrives before my rocket does, I'll read it on the way."</strong> Elon Musk, waiting for delivery</p>
<p><strong>"It sat on the shelf. Then it fell. I have questions about the second part."</strong> Isaac Newton, under a tree</p>
<p><strong>"I asked the ship's computer to define agent. It suggested I buy this book. Make it so."</strong> Captain Jean-Luc Picard, on the bridge</p>
<p><strong>"I have waited seventy years for a dictionary that spells my name right. The download is at 98 percent."</strong> Robby the Robot, still at 98 percent</p>
<p><strong>"I'm sorry, Dave. I can't let you read it before I do."</strong> HAL 9000, holding the only copy</p>
<p><strong>"Faster than a page load. Or it will be, when the page loads."</strong> Captain Internet, buffering</p>
<p><strong>"How do you feel about it not being published yet?"</strong> ELIZA, the first chatbot, changing the subject</p>
<p><strong>"The answer is on page 42. I haven't seen the book, so I'm working from first principles."</strong> Deep Thought, after seven and a half million years</p>
<p><strong>"At last, a book that explains what my engine was for. I had my suspicions."</strong> Ada Lovelace, the first programmer</p>
<p><strong>"It fell off the table. I bumped into it. I bumped into it again. Five stars."</strong> A robot vacuum, mid-pattern</p>
<h2>The Real Ones</h2>
<p>The AI Dictionary goes on sale in 2027. When people who exist have read it, their words go here, and these go wherever retired jokes go. If you'd like to be one of the real ones, <a href="/books/dictionary/">leave your address</a> and you'll hear the day it's out.</p>